You can miss them, but it doesn’t mean you should take them back.

God: Missing them doesn’t mean going back is good for you.

You: But it hurts.

You trust that missing someone and needing them aren’t the same.

– Jacqueline Whitney

God: I know. Missing someone you had to leave is one of the hardest kinds of grief.

You: Maybe I made a mistake leaving.

God: You didn’t. Your grief isn’t proof you made the wrong choice. It’s proof you actually loved. It’s proof you actually let yourself care. It’s proof you were fully there. Don’t mistake missing them for needing them.

You: I just want the pain to stop.

God: The pain will stop. But not by going back. Going back would only delay it. You’d numb the missing temporarily, and then you’d be right back here in six months, in a year, having to leave again. Pain you avoid through going back is just pain on a payment plan.

You: So what do I do?

God: You let yourself miss them. You don’t make it mean anything. You don’t translate the grief into “I should reach out.” You feel it. You let it move through you. You trust that missing someone and needing them aren’t the same.

You: And eventually?

God: Eventually, the missing softens. Eventually, you wake up and realize you went a whole day without thinking about them. Eventually, you’ll be grateful that the pain didn’t convince you to go back.

Jacqueline Whitney is the author Held: A 50 Day Devotional For Parents and All That You Deserve.