This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 John 4:10

God’s only requirement is radical: stop trying to love Him and let Him love you first. This isn’t about earning divine affection through prayer, service, or moral perfection. True love—the kind God demonstrates—is unconditional, initiating, sacrificial and life-giving. It doesn’t wait for you to be worthy. It doesn’t demand performance. It simply is, and it acts first.

A deep sense of relief is available to us when we realize that we don’t have to earn or generate His love. Nor do we need to earn or generate love from anyone else—this verse is a reminder to never settle for anything less than this kind of transformative love, and to never place anything above the love we share with God Himself. When Jesus was sent as a sacrifice, He paid the penalty for sin, demonstrating God’s justice and mercy for humankind. This provides security knowing that the love we receive from Him is not based on our worthiness, goodness or performance, but exists independent of anything we do. Yet most of us spend our time trying to love God versus receiving His love first.

When we truly receive God’s initiating love, it transforms how we approach all relationships. We learn what authentic love looks like—patient, sacrificial, unconditional—and this becomes our standard. We no longer accept relationships that are manipulative, conditional, or based on performance because we know what real love feels like. From the overflow of God’s love, we can then love others with the same sacrificial, initiating love—not because they’ve earned it, but because love gives without condition, just as God has given to us.

This changes everything: our friendships, romantic relationships, family dynamics, and even how we love ourselves. We stop trying to earn love and start resting in the love already given.