Forgiving someone can be easier when you can sit and have a heart-to-heart conversation about it. When you can listen to their side of the story and talk about what hurt you, so you can both understand each other. It’s easier when you get your apology or your closure or your reunion, but what happens when this person is no longer here? When you never get a chance to listen to their side of the story or forgive them?
This struggle can keep you stuck between grief and resentment, between regret and confusion, between wanting to let go and feeling like you want to talk to this person now more than ever. But when this person is no longer here, forgiveness takes a very different turn, it’s not about them anymore, it’s about you and God now. It’s about how to heal from all the things that were left unsaid and all the things you couldn’t fully understand.
Forgiveness now is not about closure or apologies or reconciliation, it’s now about freeing your heart from all the heaviness that you were carrying. It’s about letting go of the old story you had in mind and writing a new one. It’s about finding peace within yourself instead of fixing your relationship with that person. It’s about forgiving yourself for any pain you may have caused them too. It’s about forgiving them but without excusing their behavior just because they’re gone. It’s about moving on without holding on to the regret, the missed opportunities and the unfinished business.
Healing is not linear; healing is a process, and sometimes that process includes forgiving yourself before anyone else. Maybe you’re still angry. Maybe you’re still confused. Maybe you don’t know if you’re right or wrong, but forgiveness isn’t about getting it all right, it’s about being honest, being gentle with yourself and trusting that God is still working through your pain.
You deserve peace, even if the story didn’t end the way you hoped. You deserve closure, even if you’re still putting the pieces together alone. And you deserve freedom, the kind that only comes when you finally release what was never in your hands. The kind that trusts God with what you’ll never fully understand.
